Diary of a Single mom Following JESUS!

Church web site

2009-04-30T05:28:00.001-07:00

I did not leave the web site to my church when I said I would so very sorry! Here it is harvestchurch1.com . I must say if you listen to these messages with a open heart you will here the truth and the freedom you have been looking and longing for your whole life and that is a promise.

Come as you are Rated (pg-13)

2009-04-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

Hey it's me Angel ;-) Yep, its been a good long time! I am feeling a need to write about my day and then the next!

My day really the past few months have been rough but wonderful because I have so grown in the Lord. The messages being brought to my church family is one that is life changing and I am so very free from all kinds of things. I will get to them all in other blogs this is not the only one of this kind. I have literally went from dis pare to dancing on the roof top in one season and its all about the GRACE I have been freely given. I know your saying I want that (and if your not honey you crazy) so I am giving a link to my church's web site so you can go open up wide and get a mouth full to chew on. I have had to chew on this and spot some out just to pick it right back up cause it is to good to waste!

My heart is crying out for the lost at this season, I think how lost and deceived this world is and how easy it is for them to just TURN to the Maker and Finisher. Then you say but Angel you just don't realize how hard it is to be honest or how hard it is to be alone or without. LOL oh my friend I do. I would like to tell my story of coming to Harvest to let you know I feel you all, I have either been there and done it or was right there next to someone very close to me that has.

I will leave names and very specifics out for obvious reasons, warning to all mothers and fathers I'm giving it to ya raw so anyone who don't want there kids seeing you may want to STOP NOW!

About 9 years ago I found myself 21 with a 3 year old and a baby (not even 1). I was living with my boyfriend but I called him my fiancee because I was grown and wanted to play house ;-! I was smoking things I shouldn't and not just cigarettes, I was drinking to get drunk and forget life. This was daily actively for myself, I would wake up and go to work get home and start it all over again with my dream of a man. Side note young ladies heck ladies of ALL kind unmarried if you got a man that is taking part in ALL the wrong things with you OMG DO NOT MARRY HIM! And if you have a man that has spent time in jail/prison DO NOT think one imprisonment has changed him PLEASE do not marry him. Until you have had adequate counseling and you are released and even then if you have a gut feeling DO NOT MARRY HIM! Ok, back to the story. So I am now getting high drinking and parting wit my STUPID music yep I said it STUPID! I thought I was doing good when we (kids, me and boyfriend) were able to move out on are own we were living the life. But I felt like carp so what was it I'm always mad there for I go to take care of my feelings with drugs or alcohol or sex hey anything to take my mind off of my crappy life right! It was ok for me to have sex with the man I LIVED with right I had been with him for over a year (didn't matter if that year was spent with him in jail did it) I knew him so very intimately from letters right! I knew all there was to know about MY MAN! Just ignore the frequent trips to the FREAKING gynecologist for meds. Another side note LADIES if you have issues that continue longer then 3 weeks with antibiotic treatment KNOW you are more then likely being reinfected by someone VERY close to you and DO NOT MARRY HIM! SO, here we have a young mother of two that is working raising kids and totally blind to the fact of her KNIGHT AND SHINING ARMOUR is really a broken down gangsta aka OG and she is either working or altered in some way as soon as kids are in bed and y'all this went on for some time. My exciting nights out were chillin with my sister and her "knight and shining" oh we were the s---! Not to mention my every moment of being offended or wanting to take someone out for looking at me crossed eyed. Yes, it was bad. Until one day I woke up and heard a old familiar voice (way back when I was a kid) saying what are you doing you must stop that I LOVE YOU. It wasn't just a voice but also a force a strength that came with it allowing me to freely stand up and say NO MORE! Please lets not forget the above state of mind I was in I really thought what I was doing was not that bad I wasn't hurting or killing anyone so I was ok! I went to work with this voice (later to find out the HOLY SPIRIT) . I went to work that day with this very present voice telling me so easily what I should be doing. I came home to the kids and fiancee ready to continue the normal routine of crap. I remember it just like it was yesterday I still even can play this very day in my head the day I heard the Lord! My fiancee went to the kitchen that night asking me what I wanted to drink because he was getting his. My norm was a very strong mixed drink. I told him I don't want anything and that we are living in sin, we are unmarried doing things we shouldn't be doing! These words came out of my mouth before I even realized it was open, and you can imagine the look I was given. I knew I needed to find someone to talk to about this and that very night my mother ( are relationship was awful I pushed her away)called me with the great news! Tim Atchley my favorite Sunday school teacher from when I was 10 years old had started his own church and get this it was 3 miles from me. I attended that very Sunday and the rest is AMAZING history I have been there 9 years and grown in the Lord so much.

So that old saying people like to believe about you must get yourself together before you come to the Lord IS WRONG! Actually you must come just as dirty and messed up as you can be ,aka come to the END OF YOURSELF! I was at the end of myself the next step could of very well been death or even worse.

My Burden is Easy and My Yoke is Light!

More to come!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the Day the LORD!

2008-12-17T04:51:00.001-08:00

has made I WILL rejoice and be GLAD in it! That just hit me I was not even planning on posting anything I am very pressed for time BUT I heard and so I typed. This is the day that the Lord has made I WILL REJOICE and be GLAD IN IT! OMG that gets me so very excited just think about that for a min. All the things the Lord has in store for us when we we stop and be glad and joyfully. Feeling sad depressed bad memories from past holidays, remember this is the Day the Lord has made its time to rejoice and put on that garment of praise. That garment is something YOU HAVE TO PUT ON YOURSELF, don't wait to get so low thinking someone will feel sorry for you and put it on for you NOPE wont happen. You must do it yourself, and you know what when you first put it on you wont like it because it is coming against everything the devil and your flesh want so SUCK IT UP Pull up them BIG GIRL AND BOY PANTS and run to the garment of praise.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the DAY don't pass it up !!!!!

Please be patient!

2008-12-13T04:09:00.000-08:00

With me, I have been off line for sometime now and will be for a little bit longer! My post will be far and in between but they will be here as I can high jack connections when visiting areas! GRIN!

Dont Just do something

2008-11-11T06:34:00.000-08:00

We are a doing people. We always wants to be doing something . Every now and then someone will exclaim, "Don't just stand there do something!" I n contrast, I think God is crying out to us, "Don't just do something, stand there! Enter a love relationship with Me. Get to know Me. Adjust your life to Me. Let Me love you and reveal Myself through you to a watching world." A time will come when doing will be called for, but we cannot skip the relationship. The relationship with God must come first.
Jesus said, I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing," (John 15:5). Do you believe Him? Without Him you can do NOTHING.
Henry & Richard Blackaby

The Little Things!

2008-10-16T15:56:00.000-07:00

How Blessed I am, how the Father Loves ME, His daughter!

I want to give you all a glimpse into my day at work. I work for a Home Hospice group I have been there almost 2 years (wow how time flies). Those that are not familiar with Hospice, Hospice is a part of the health care program where the patient is usually given 3-6 months to live and on occasion I will get the poor soul that waits on this program for 1-2 years. I have never had anyone longer then 2 years, but it is getting close. Now I drive to the patients home and take care of there needs ADL's. I will on busy days have 8-9 patients and drive over 100 miles a day, that has change (Thank God) since we got more employees. I will still have that many, but I have not had to drive that far since the summer. The patients ages range from 23-93 years old with terminal illness some suffering badly others in a unresponsive state feeling nothing! It is a very hard job, but I know I am to be where I am at this time and I love it. Although saying you love your job when people die daily kind of sound a little morbid but trust me I am not! To be able to visit and get in a very personal position with stranger and more then likely walk with them during that very hard time in there life is a true BLESSING!

I have placed pictures on here from a day I drove to Rockwood to care for a wonderful lady. And I was overwhelmed with Thanksgiving, how He gives you ALL you need when you need it.

I have been over whelmed with a great Blessed week I have needed a certain tooth fixed or a long time now and it got to the point of there is no way I can go any longer with it the way it was. I went and had a root canal Wed. morning and that was straight from God to be able to go in there and pay for it. REALLY! I mean mouth work goes so untreated for many reasons, well mine was because I had no way to pay for it. I was in the position of OK I should pay rent or get my tooth fixed right. And I must say during this almost year of pain I finally at the last few days of my nerves being in tact I said loudly and firmly to the Lord (although HE knows all you must ask). I HAVE NO way of getting this fixed Lord but it has to be so Daddy fix it. GRIN! guess what that next day money came through to fix it WOW~! And get this while I sit there getting this wonderful root canal I got a text form the Blessed person that helped and they had been Blessed beyond words that very day. OM GOODNESS, its 7am and I am about to jump and scream that still excites me so ! He is so good. Now I am sure you are like OK God came through but that happens on occasions. LOL! No it does not we need to ALWAYS remember ALL GOOD THINGS COME FROM THE Lord! Yes all good things that means honey if you woke up in the morning and your house wasn't burning to the ground or all your kids are safe healthy in there beds. If you have running water or a warm house (or cool) if you have a church that you can attend and worship freely YOU ARE BLESSED! If you can breath in and out without oxygen and your not taken tons of pain meds to get you through your last few breathes on earth. And you know what even if you don't have any of those things mentioned above you are still alive cause you are reading this and you STILL have a chance to have one more moment to talk to JESUS! What Grace and Mercy we have been given don't let it fall at the waist side jump in there and get ALL HE has for you! I promise you He has MORE, just when you think you can not get anymore of Christ or you have went to the deepest of your relationship dig some more and you will be surprised at what you will find. HE will leave you standing in aw, and if your driving get ready to pull over. Open yourself to Him and let Him do what He wants I promise you will not be the same.

God is Good, I dare you to find 3 things that are good today, just look at something and say is this good or bad, and if you find its good Praise the Great I Am for it and see what happens.

James 4
1What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? 2You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
4You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. 5Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely?[a] 6But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."[b]
7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

You spend a lot of your time praying and asking God for the things you feel you need or sometimes things you just want and it does not come why is that?

Dont Quit

2008-10-15T20:23:00.000-07:00

Lets Always remember Who God is. He is the King of Kings the Great I AM! God is the same God that is on the throne that spoke this world into creation. He can do ALL things! And He hears you and see the depths of your heart. Please Take this as some encouragement!

DO NOT EVER GIVE UP! He wont EVER give up on you!

Please enjoy the second song of my heart!

When things go wrong , as they sometimes will.

When the road you're trudging seems all up hill.

When the funds are low, and the debts are high.

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don't you quit,

Life is strange with its twists and turns,

As everyone of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don't give up though the pace seems slow,

You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out.

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you can never tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far,

So stick to the fight when you re hardest hit,

It's when things seem worst

That you must not quit.

Author unknown

Say No~

2008-10-12T20:05:00.000-07:00

I totally believe I can follow my life with songs of worship. God has shown me and so graciously given me a song for each season of life I have been in since becoming a Real deal Christian (definition of that one to come in a later blog). I have many playing in my heart at this season of life. I will post the many that are there but the one that is sticking out to me is Slow Fade by Casting Crowns.

When I first heard slow fade I was on my face at the truth behind it. Then I heard the story that brought the song to life. The story consisted of the scripture Psalm 1 How Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, Nor stand in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of scoffers! But his delight is in the law of the Lord. And in His law he meditates day and night He will be like a tree firmly planted by stream of water, Which yields its fruit in its season And its leaf does not wither; And in whatever he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, But they are like chaff which the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgement. Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, But the way of the wicked will perish.
Be careful what you do where you go and what you say, there is always little feet following. I loved to be around my big sister when I was younger up to teenage years. Even though she had her first baby at 15 years old. She was the best, to me the problem with that is I saw nothing wrong with what was going on in her life. Be careful little feet where you go cause its the little feet behind you that is sure to follow. Even though I waited 3 years longer then her to become a unwed mother I still followed. When flattering leads to compromise the end is always near. The things you do today directly effect your tomorrow, choices are made and a price will be paid when you give yourself away. Please hear these words if I can get through to one teen or single women, mom etc. I will have done my job. There is not a man in the world that is worth giving your life away, if he is that special to you then wait and see. I promise you waiting is so much better then giving in to the flattering.Blessed is the one who does not walk stand or sit in the seat of the wicked. Single moms every where get up and stand and show your strength in the Lord. You don't need that man you found in the bar or in the whatever. All you need now is to allow God to send you that Godly Man that will be who you need him to be. Do not allow yourself to fade away, you are a Princess!

Ok I Am on!

2008-10-12T20:02:00.000-07:00

Ok, I realize I am kinda following the crowd with the blogging. I have no problem following when the crowd is a bunch of Jesus Freaks. I do not have serious skills in writing and will not even act like I do. I am excited to be able to find the time to get a few thoughts and ideas down. I do enjoy writing but that does not mean its a gift of mine so. Hope I am some entertainment at some point to you.